Rolzo Speaks…


Sometimes to win is to let go
Monday July 4, 2016, 3:50 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Was sharing seats with a stranger at a cafe today. As I noticed the afternoon sun dipping in at the side where I was to sit, my mind had conceived the plan of shift to the other side after the stranger leaves. But lo and behold when he was to take his leave, a pair of pinoys sat themselves in right away before I had time to react. What made me more annoyed was the one who sat opposite me pushed all the stuff left by the previous patron over to my side of the table. I showed my annoyance on my face and pushed it away from me. She caught that. And moved it away. But I was still unhappy as the sun by now had creeped in significantly. I was half baking with a shawl blocking out the roasting ray.

Out of a defiance I hung on despite feeling the temperature rising as fine beads of moist formed along my hairline. I thought to myself, “This seat was mine!” And a whole string of thoughts of how uncivil their act was to sit without asking etc etc. I hung on. Woo i can feel the heat rising. But this seat is mine! I stole a few glance to check their food progress. Arghh one of them went to refill her coffee. By now i was way beyond half in the sun. Then I realised that at the rate of how this ray was coming in I may still be affected when I finally could shift in. I looked around and saw there were plenty of colder spots in the cafe. Just that I had to humbly give up MY seat.

I did. As I moved out, I spotted an ever better seat at the other corner that was cool and completely out of the rays reach.

And I thought its so true that sometimes we win when we lose. When we could let go of our rights we win even more. Sometimes its good to let go of an argument where the relationship is even more important than being right about something. Sometimes its good to let others gain as the character formation/lesson is even more valuable than the material gain. Sometimes letting go of a seemingly great opportunity may gain me time and other more precious aspects in life such as health, safety, comfort, family/community etc.

Now I feel so glad I gave up my seat because the truth is there IS a better seat out there. I need to let go before I can gain. I need to loosen my grip before I have the capacity to receive.

Reflections;

1.What are some areas we tend to fight or strive over?

2.On a scale of 1-10, 1 being always give in to 10 always fight to get my way. Where do you see yourself currently?

3.What is one area you feel that you need to let go so that you can receive something new that God will bring into you life?

4.What is something we could do differently to help us let go?
Adopt a meek spirit(Attitudes/behaviour could help  us win in life)

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Losing Excellence
Thursday March 15, 2012, 5:50 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Recently I posted a FB liner on the subject. What were the contexts of that post? I wonder why I drag my feet to do “work”. Honestly, everything that spells work like assignments, training preps, proposals, church stuff etc etc…. I don’t like my spirit and attitude towards it. In fact I detest it and deemed it as an ugly side of me that I am ashamed to acknowledge. Pa’s frank assessment of me was right. Somewhat Ill-disciplined. My super slacky nature especially when I am at home. Although I felt slightly insulted by that harsh, in-the-face judgement I think I wld have been a fool if I would not take time to evaluate if there is any truth to that judgement. This is what I call “Rude Awakening” haha. Which I think we all need every once in a while. Talking to pa can be stressful cuz he has a preferred system/framework of approaching conversations. Unless I am prepared for an in depth discussion, I won’t dare engage him. haha

I asked myself is this what I wanted. Deep down is a yes and yes but why do I lose the spirit of excellence? I feel good when I have that. I feel good about what I produce when I have that. Now where has it gone to that I’m often with battling with the internal “shame” when I know I have not given my best. What we call the half-hearted attitude. I despised myself for that. I am still in the phase of awareness so before I go ignoring it and eventually get numb, I’d better do something about it.

I guess I need to do a pit stop and reconnect with why I do what I do. Very important thing. I hate needing to fake it. I feel that I betrayed myself if I allow myself to fake it and put on a show but internally having no conviction in the stuff I am meddling with. I shall not conformed to mediocrity! I shall not allow laziness get the best of me. Literally!

Hope you have been doing well where you are. Know that the Lord’s strength and spirit is always available. Take care! 🙂   



Blog? Haven’t heard of the word for Eons.
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:44 am
Filed under: Boh Liaos, BURPS..~

Recently someone mentioned the word blog rather randomly… Haven’t heard of the word in a while. I think no one read these stuff these days. I can’t rem the last time I read someone’s blog. Now mostly FB or chirps of a one liner. Lagi best recent another new thing called Path. Why do we need to come up with so many versions of the same thing? Haiz…
The reminder led me to visit Rolzology. Wow it’s like a walk down memory lane of my life. Made me miss waigong as revisited my journey with him. I discovered that I haven’t changed much in the things I enjoy in life. At certain point I wonder, huh did I wrote that? 😛

I realised that I have also became some what less articulated. Over the years i have lost good friends to BF/GF, marriages and migration. The most painful ones was one to an iphone and the other haiz…. I really treasured the quality time and the convos we have had but guess I gotta just take it as it is. So now, with fewer good friends to spar raw thoughts with, which is very sad, I thank God He still gave me a few. They are gems that sparkle in my life! Haiz… Maybe there is a place for blog still. Maybe just to let out cuz it gets stuffy when we keep it all inside.
God I trust that all good things come from You. Whatever it may be, Lord grant me Your loving Grace. For I know it’ll all be sufficient for me. 🙂



Galvin’s ~~
Tuesday June 28, 2011, 1:14 am
Filed under: Boh Liaos, En Spirituas

Revisited some blog links of old.. Tuned in to Galvin’s compositions here. Think most are originals. Enjoy! 🙂



First Post in 2011! – New Book
Monday June 27, 2011, 12:24 am
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Well well well.. What have we got here.. Man I could hardly see with all these over grown weeds and dust.. Ahh chhoo…! Sniff sniff.. 😛 Time to mow the lawn and give it a new splash of paint! 🙂

Nothing much to say but just wanna recommend a new book of interest;

Presenting….

A team mate mentioned about it and I thought it sounded like an interesting read. Have yet to lay my hands on a copy but will do soon. 🙂 Found some audio snips online

~~~~~~

Perhaps I need to be brave.

Deep breath….~

Never mind….

Read and munch first.. 🙂



The Older the…
Friday October 1, 2010, 6:32 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Recently picked up a Miller book. Made me feel like blogging again. Hmm.. I hope this really will pick up.

Just crossed my big 30s and my lungs didn’t explode. (Goodness, I think  a miller’s spirit just said that.. haha) Last year, ma corrected me and said I was already living into my 30th year right after my bday. So thanks to her, I already crossed over last year. Contrary to popular beliefs, I don’t think or feel that it’s scary or “oh my God my body clock is ticking” or “oh my God I am not married. ” Sure, I think this year is a little quieter and I guess it is likely to increase by the year. But I feel that there is still so much more to be done. Many of my friends are producing babies at the moment. Sometimes it gets a little scary suddenly a new set of babies appearing at every corner as I walked around in church on Sunday. Sometimes it gets rather overwhelming for me. I used to enjoy kids and would always bend down to make the little one feel special when I do come across one. But now with the baby boom, it just gets overwhelming and I got selective on who I wanna spend energy on.

I think a lot of my perspective changes in the recent 5-8 years. I become more reclusive as I aged. I cherish my space more these days. So to curl up at some coffee joint with a connect-able book, light wordless classical plugged in, and a milky hot coffee on a weekday late afternoon is… pure indulgence.- I would rather be here than to dine with a king.

A couple of my closer girlfriends found their love in the recent year. Some remained unhappily single. I rejoiced along with my blessed girlfriends  and yet on the other hand, I felt the pain of undesired singlehood experienced by some.- I think I have ran out of words for the latter. I felt cliche-ish and decided to stop saying anything. Early adulthood can be depressing with so many changes to cope, so many decisions to make.  For me, where to I stand in this?

I think I am blessed where I am. I am happy. In fact I think I have more hurdles to cross in settling down on someone. Ma said probably I have yet to meet someone I like. As the years go by, I feel less excitable about people I meet. Became more lazy in getting to know people. In fact sometimes I get a bit afraid. These days, the weirdest imaginable can happen. :/ Sad isn’t it?  That, I often feel frustrated about. Sometimes when I get that vibes coming, it actually freaks me out a little. I feel a bit sad cause I can’t interact naturally.  The same goes when I do come across people I like but before anything could develop naturally, the guy start feeling self conscious or worse.. make me guess. I have concluded that the latter are not worth figuring out. – I think this comes with age. haha

I ever asked myself, ‘hey just give these dudes a chance la.. At least for their effort.” I tried to.. but I can’t.  I don’t like this person that way. Then how?  I don’t believe in getting a bf for the sake of removing myself from the single status. In fact I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being single. I feel truly blessed with love and friendships that comes with no strings attached. One that just loves freely without demands for a preferred response.

Well, for a relationship to work, I think conversations are very important. Mutual honor is too. One of the best friendships I have has these ingredients and I never fail to thank the Lord for them.

Well, that’s my little crossover ramblings for now. Hope you’ve been well too in your journey. 🙂 Be bless. 🙂



Returning to blogga blogga
Thursday May 6, 2010, 11:59 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos, Love stories

I have switched to FB fleeting one liner status bar for the longest time. I’m back! 🙂
Somehow with the load of stuff in my mind, I am retracking my steps back here to rolzology. Hope all u fellow bloggers out there are still keeping it alive.

Started running some life skills classes for ite students age 17 to as old as 24. Has been good so far. I love the position I’m in. Having the main business of dealing with students while not needing to meddle much w the “internal affairs”. – I hope I’m not shouting hurray too quickly. Not that it’s all been easy peasies but I kinda enjoy the challenges.

Something I wanna rem that led me here to finger it down is what happened this week.
I notice it’s as if the Lord sends one kinda like heartwarming occurance to… ya! Warm my heart.

Mon: I crosspathed a student at a traffic crossing & he stick out his hand and said,”cher.. Hi-five.. :)”
I did.

Wed: I walked passed a student with a ” dun mess around w me” facade at the bus stop. She looked up & said loudly(maybe due to headphones) “bye cher..” w a brief moment of ernesty upon those heavily kohl eyes before it snapped back to default mode. I was suprised by her greeting.

Thurs: i dismissed a class early as they are likely to be exempted. Two students returned after 15mins & ask if we can take a picture together. Then the student later express his disappointment about 2 modules being cancelled of which one is mine. Lol wah so sentimental arr.. I hardly have taught u leh..

Ok hope i will truly return 🙂