Rolzo Speaks…


Sometimes to win is to let go
Monday July 4, 2016, 3:50 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Was sharing seats with a stranger at a cafe today. As I noticed the afternoon sun dipping in at the side where I was to sit, my mind had conceived the plan of shift to the other side after the stranger leaves. But lo and behold when he was to take his leave, a pair of pinoys sat themselves in right away before I had time to react. What made me more annoyed was the one who sat opposite me pushed all the stuff left by the previous patron over to my side of the table. I showed my annoyance on my face and pushed it away from me. She caught that. And moved it away. But I was still unhappy as the sun by now had creeped in significantly. I was half baking with a shawl blocking out the roasting ray.

Out of a defiance I hung on despite feeling the temperature rising as fine beads of moist formed along my hairline. I thought to myself, “This seat was mine!” And a whole string of thoughts of how uncivil their act was to sit without asking etc etc. I hung on. Woo i can feel the heat rising. But this seat is mine! I stole a few glance to check their food progress. Arghh one of them went to refill her coffee. By now i was way beyond half in the sun. Then I realised that at the rate of how this ray was coming in I may still be affected when I finally could shift in. I looked around and saw there were plenty of colder spots in the cafe. Just that I had to humbly give up MY seat.

I did. As I moved out, I spotted an ever better seat at the other corner that was cool and completely out of the rays reach.

And I thought its so true that sometimes we win when we lose. When we could let go of our rights we win even more. Sometimes its good to let go of an argument where the relationship is even more important than being right about something. Sometimes its good to let others gain as the character formation/lesson is even more valuable than the material gain. Sometimes letting go of a seemingly great opportunity may gain me time and other more precious aspects in life such as health, safety, comfort, family/community etc.

Now I feel so glad I gave up my seat because the truth is there IS a better seat out there. I need to let go before I can gain. I need to loosen my grip before I have the capacity to receive.

Reflections;

1.What are some areas we tend to fight or strive over?

2.On a scale of 1-10, 1 being always give in to 10 always fight to get my way. Where do you see yourself currently?

3.What is one area you feel that you need to let go so that you can receive something new that God will bring into you life?

4.What is something we could do differently to help us let go?
Adopt a meek spirit(Attitudes/behaviour could help  us win in life)

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Migraine Attack – My God Healed me Completely!
Wednesday April 13, 2016, 11:10 pm
Filed under: En Spirituas

Went on an impromptu late night cycling and woke up with a headache. It was the entire left side of my temple and rim of my eye, cheek, nerves behind my ear, neck and down to my shoulder. I gave myself a light squeeze on the areas and tried to feel better as I went about my day. Had a full day that started with a birthday party, a quick help shopping for groceries, a visit to hospital, collect a cake somewhere then headed home to start the wok for pasta dinner for the night. Tried to drink coffee while waiting for the rain to pass at some point but it didnt work. Later on, I felt the heat in the kitchen was helpful to get some of the “wind” out of my head but alas.. it stayed throughout the day.

Despite of it, I was glad my pasta turned out well. 🙂 Was also glad that everyone chipped in effort to make it happen. After dinner and wash up, somehow the condition intensified to the point I felt the left side of my face swell up. I knew I definitely needed some medication. I popped a caffeine pill. I was expecting my condition to improve as before but it turn worse to a point I felt very sick and weak within minutes. It felt like I was about to throw up anytime that I pulled a bin near me as I quickly and carefully lay myself down. I steadied myself to switch off the glaring lights while holding on to my waste bin and gently laid myself down in a recovery position and pop a sweet into my mouth as a desperate attempt to calm down my system from any violent expulsion.

At that point I ernest prayed,

“Dear Lord, please heal me. :S I need You now.”

I fell asleep shortly after.

I woke up 5am+ in the morning the next day feeling totally refreshed! I had the impression that the Lord has healed me! There was no traces of the strain after that till now. Praise the good Lord who is my Jehovah Rapha! James 1:6

😀 Thank U LORD!

 



Prayer Time with the SGH Ladies
Wednesday February 24, 2016, 12:37 am
Filed under: En Spirituas

Started today with a wonderful prayer time with the sisters who are serving with Catherine at the SGH weekly bible study. I was surprised to find very sharp spirited sisters who take up the petition for Singapore and their witness with such a sharp spirit of discernment and fervor. I felt sharpened and their passion and care really rubbed on and spurred me on. WOw! Thank you LORD for this. Teach me to obey You more and more. Lord continue to do wonders in Singapore and beyond.

Originally planned to catch up with gerry and jeslyn but alas the rain made them unavailable so that I was able to fellowship with the prayer sisters over lunch. WOw.. It was great to hear about the testimonies of how the Lord called us to Himself and we can just be in awe of Your awesome orchestration in our lives. Thank you LORD for revealing Yourself to us and giving us the faith to trust and follow You. May you give us a shepherding heart for the lost and broken that they may be restored and redeemed for Your glory, Amen.



First Visit to BSF – Like a flashback in the Revivals of Old
Tuesday February 23, 2016, 11:58 pm
Filed under: BURPS..~, En Spirituas

Today was my very first visit to a BSF meeting. What caught my attention was the discussion leader Cutie. – Interesting sweet name. She was quite cute as in a small lady. But I think she seems confident so that name was interesting on her. Maybe it soften her a little. I was directed to her when I did not know where I was supposed to go. She was a quaint lady who looked plain and modest in her attire, visible strands of sliver peppered her convent girlish short hair that was neatly pulled back with a simple hairband. What was sweet was her steady gracious spirit. Although I missed the welcome last week, I was half worried that she would turn me away as I seemed to be out of procedure.  Thankfully she was willing to attend to me and settled me into one of the groups in no time. 😀 Although the discussion time was a simple time of different ones of us sharing about the questions in the bible study this week, I thought it fulfilled what the time was meant for.

Later, we went on to the chapel for the teaching. It was electrifying to feel a room full of young people who are hungry to study God’s word! The whole setup felt like a mini revival happening there and then. It felt like I was somewhat transported to the time of the revival of era of Aimee Macpherson and Catherine Kuhlman! Perhaps God granted me a tiny glimpse of that glorious period of revival. I was very grateful for the experience.

I felt affirmed in the spirit that God was helping me grasp what I was reading in the week leading up to this meeting at the same time I was able to learn more stuff that I wasn’t aware of. The setup was really plain and the most attractive thing was really the word of the Lord. WOW… I like that plainness. I like it that its full of GOD. There was an ernest quaintness of the entire experience. The red brick victorian chapel building just adds to the whole look and feel. I think I like it.

Several times I asked myself if this is for me. Several times I wondered if I can keep up with this discipline of mining God’s word. I really want more of the word in my life. I want to live the word and let it continue to change and purify me. Will I be accepted into this BSF since they seemed to be out of space? I was half thinking of sneaking in every week whether they will accept me or not. And that’s me again wriggling in to have it my way regardless of whether I am allowed or not. 😛
I learnt something from observing Cutie. Through the indirect references of her life sharing on her thoughts, her attitudes, it reveals an ongoing submission to the Lord’s will and ways. I find that very inspiring and also thought provoking. It causes me to reflect on my own willfulness and defenses that I have built up over the years. Lord may I learn to follow You and let you direct me more and more.. Give me Your heart for the things You would bring me to. In Your most Victorious Name, Amen.

 



Weather-proof Faith
Monday January 18, 2016, 9:50 pm
Filed under: En Spirituas

During a recent conversation with a dear friend, the topic of cynicism was raised. The question goes like this, ” What makes us more or less cynical over the years?” My friend shared her personal evaluation of how she coped over time and concluded on a note that losing a sense of wonder in things is what makes her more cynical over time. As I listened intently, I thought about how cynicism is mostly rooted in disappointments and why do we get disappointed in the first place. Well perhaps we have expected things to turn well for us. So then is it true that things always should or will go well in my life? Of course I would hope it does but what if it doesn’t. Have we at some point in our lives been drawn to think that it should always be well so much so that when it doesn’t we lost our grounding?

We concluded on this note.

Trouble times or misfortunes or even fortunes for that matter, comes as a form of testing. It comes as a fire to test what we are made of. What we truly believe. And if we could truly stand by what we thought we have believed. In the Christian journey, our end goal is truly to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. So as these testings comes, it is to refine us. It has the potential to bring out the best as well as the worse in us. A fair weather theology of health, wealth and sunshine everyday wouldn’t get us far in Him. The truth is God is sovereign even in sickness, poverty and pain. Instead of lamenting, ” oh God why is this happening to me?” we should be saying, “God, what is you want to form in me through this?”

When we say that Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. We are really saying Christ’s openness to me is unchanging and unconditional. It does not depend on my performance. He stays steadfast as the Coach of my life. As I enter every match as liken to yet another season of my life, I may play lousy, may trip at some point or run around lost in the field. He’s identity as my Coach does not change. Even if I play lousy and if I am willing to rely on His wisdom, He could lead me to victory. If I would learn from Him and practice the ways He has chided me on. I could get better. I don’t have to continue to be a loser even if I may have lost a match.

In the light of news of failed marriages of several pastors we knew who have a lot of respect for when we were younger, I believe the same applies. All of us can be tempted. And yes they may have not passed the test but Jesus still remains as their steadfast Coach. He never gives up on us. Don’t take the judgement of man as a reflection of God’s  damnation. Coach God’s arms are wide open for every prodigal daughter and son to trust Him to lead and restore again.

~~~***~~~

You may have sinned. You may have been living in a life of sin but that does not change you from a child of God to a son of the devil. You are still a child of God. You are a child of God that is living in sin. You still belongs to the Father. Come home. He loves you nonetheless.

 

 

 



Interesting 招句 Angmo idiom
Friday February 22, 2013, 12:02 pm
Filed under: BURPS..~

Storm in a teacup, the pot call the kettle black.



Losing Excellence
Thursday March 15, 2012, 5:50 pm
Filed under: Boh Liaos

Recently I posted a FB liner on the subject. What were the contexts of that post? I wonder why I drag my feet to do “work”. Honestly, everything that spells work like assignments, training preps, proposals, church stuff etc etc…. I don’t like my spirit and attitude towards it. In fact I detest it and deemed it as an ugly side of me that I am ashamed to acknowledge. Pa’s frank assessment of me was right. Somewhat Ill-disciplined. My super slacky nature especially when I am at home. Although I felt slightly insulted by that harsh, in-the-face judgement I think I wld have been a fool if I would not take time to evaluate if there is any truth to that judgement. This is what I call “Rude Awakening” haha. Which I think we all need every once in a while. Talking to pa can be stressful cuz he has a preferred system/framework of approaching conversations. Unless I am prepared for an in depth discussion, I won’t dare engage him. haha

I asked myself is this what I wanted. Deep down is a yes and yes but why do I lose the spirit of excellence? I feel good when I have that. I feel good about what I produce when I have that. Now where has it gone to that I’m often with battling with the internal “shame” when I know I have not given my best. What we call the half-hearted attitude. I despised myself for that. I am still in the phase of awareness so before I go ignoring it and eventually get numb, I’d better do something about it.

I guess I need to do a pit stop and reconnect with why I do what I do. Very important thing. I hate needing to fake it. I feel that I betrayed myself if I allow myself to fake it and put on a show but internally having no conviction in the stuff I am meddling with. I shall not conformed to mediocrity! I shall not allow laziness get the best of me. Literally!

Hope you have been doing well where you are. Know that the Lord’s strength and spirit is always available. Take care! 🙂